


Will you still love me

by Dmonius



Series: Nexus [2]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Mirror Universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-30
Updated: 2013-06-05
Packaged: 2017-12-13 11:37:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/823867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dmonius/pseuds/Dmonius





	1. Chapter 1

Pavel was in darkness. Complete darkness surrounded him and there was nothing there except for the walls that was leaning against and the ground that he sat on.

***

On the night of his 18th birthday, Kirk had invited Pavel out to the movies. They had an inspection at Vorcas III and the planet was known for its rich and exhilarating nightlife, but when the rest of the senior crew went for a party (even Spock!), the Captain took him to a cinema to watch _Celeste & Jesse Forever. _

Kirk, no, he was supposed to call him Jim now, had waited the first thirty minutes before he stretched his arms and pulled Pavel close. Pavel leaned against the taller man's broad shoulders and stretched out his hand. Jim intertwined their fingers and Pavel felt the sudden urge to kiss the older man, but held it back. The moment itself was all he had ever hoped for.

Later on, when the movie was finished, they returned to the Enterprise and Jim insisted on walking Pavel home to his quarters; they did not say much, but Pavel's thoughts couldn't focus. It was a wonder he would still be walking; whenever he was nervous, he usually started to solve equations, but it was not possible at all. In front of the door, Jim pulled him close into an embrace and _that_ was the moment Pavel got the kiss he had waited for.

“Happy Birthday, Ensign Chekov,” Jim said. He stroked Pavel's cheek and the boy kissed him again.

“Thank you...Jim.”

***

The darkness was almost unbearable. Pavel couldn't even decide whether he had his eyes open or closed, and it did not matter at all.

***  
“Sir, we've got an unidentified vessel coming in. Out of the nothing,” Pavel reported.

Jim came close, put his hand on Pavel's shoulder and looked at the sensor readings. “What kind of vessel?”

“Looks like Federation,” Spock said from behind. “But it...it is firing!”

“Shields up,” Jim yelled. The ship was hit by a sudden eruption. Pavel could feel Jim's hand on his shoulder, the protective touch of the Captain.

“Shields are down,” Pavel reported. “They're beaming on board, Sir.”

Right there, in front of him, _he_ came. At first, Pavel thought that the lights of the transportation were tricking him, but there was Jim right in front of him, but he was not Jim. He wore a black uniform and had a grim and sober expression on his face. He did not hesitate, but pulled out his phaser and shot Sulu. Then, the man hit Jim with his fist and caught Pavel by his wrist.

“Fascinating,” Spock said.

“Keptin!” Pavel yelled, but he just felt the transporter and was beamed away.

***

He just realized he was naked. They had left him naked in the cold and in the darkness. His mother used to teach him little spells, spells that would help him. He had spoken every incantation he knew and then some. None of them worked.

His tears had dried a long time ago. Starfleet had taught him to be attentive, creative. To be always ready and to find a way out of every goddam situation, but what should he do? Last time he was held hostage, Jim had come and saved him. Jim had always been there, right by his side, to protect him.

And now the door opened, but Chekov couldn't look up. It was like his tears had dried his lids together, yet he had to admit that his eyes had been open the whole time. He couldn't see anything in the darkness, but when he looked up, he could see Jim standing in the light. Jim who came down to earth and lifted him up. He shushed and pressed Pavel's head against his shoulder.

“Everything is alright,” the other Jim (or his Jim?) said, “Everything will be alright.”


	2. Chapter 2

When Pavel woke up, he was lying in a strange bed, much larger than the one in his cabin on _Enterprise_ ; and whenever he woke up there, he was usually alone. Somebody clicked his tongue in a disapproving manner and made himself noticeable. The lights turned on, but left the room in a shady darkness.

“My sweet Lady Disdain, are you yet living?” Pavel smiled, as it reminded him of the good old times (a few days, an age ago), when Jim had showed him his performance as Benedick in Shakespeare’s Much Ado during his time as a senior.

“Is it possible Disdain should die while she hath such meet food to feed it?” He was home, it was most certainly home. Had it been but a dream? The nakedness, the darkness. Even the attack?

“You learned your lines well, Pavel.”

A somber tone. A tone full of power and passion which both lacked the playfulness and the relieving sound of Jim’s voice. A distortion of the man Pavel was sure he was meant to love.

“Who are you?”

The man came close and climbed on the bed. The grim, yes, it was the same. But the way Jim furrowed his brows, the way his teeth were not this little bit above his lip, it all revealed that it was not _his_ Jim. Yet still, the sound of his voice was as much perfect an imitation to his ears as his complexion was to his eyes.

“Say that again.”

“Who are you?”

Jim hit him. It was a bitchslap in a very literal sense, and Pavel immediately retreated to the wall.

“Say that again.”

“I don’t think I want to.”

“I don’t think I want to,” Jim mimicked him with a very strange Russian accent and a much higher voice. “You don’t have to think, Pavel. And try to call me Sir next time, will you? I was still Captain on your ship, wasn’t I?”

“Yes and yes, Sir.”

“See, wasn’t so hard, was it?”

Pavel opened his mouth, but Jim just clicked his tongue to silence him.

“See, you are confused, I get that. Just to clarify…you _are_ Pavel Chekov, right? I did not just cross the boundaries between dimensions and killed Sulu again, just to get the wrong guy.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Ensign on a starship called _Enterprise_ that was or is under the command of Captain James Tiberius Kirk, right? God, it feels so good to say my name out loud!”

“Yes, Sir.”

“And you were just about to invade the Bajoran system, right?”

“We weren’t invading it, we’re explorers on a diplomatic mission.” Pavel hesitated for a moment and added “Sir” before Jim could say anything.

“Right. You know, our both universes are connected, Pavel. Actually, you proposed such a thing in your dissertation, but I’m going to explain it –“

“I did not write a dissertation, Jim.”

Kirk hit him again, now with the back of his hand. “Don’t they teach you _anything_? First, I’m fairly certain I said no interruptions. Second of all, Sir is widely appreciated. Nobody has any standards any more, not even a whore like you.”

“I’m sorry, Sir.”

“See? Wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“No, Sir.”

“Okay, where was I? Right. Connection. Both universes serve as a mirror image of one another. Where I’m an ambitioned, successful commander on this side of the wall, he on the other hand is a mere excuse for an officer, wouldn't you agree?”

“Captain Kirk is not –“

Kirk rolled his eyes and caught Pavel at his throat. He held him in place and pressed his throat. “I said no interruptions, didn't I? That’s going to cost you a rip.”

The touch of Kirk’s hand was gentle at first, but Pavel had to cry out when he could feel his rip break under the pressure of both Kirk’s thumb and index finger. “That’s a nice trick I learned on Vorcas III. See, this brings me to our little rendez-vous here, Pavel. I don’t know how exactly, but a few weeks ago, an irregularity between both our worlds caused a very tragic accident. An accident in whose final repercussion the Pavel Chekov in this timeline died.”

“So that’s why I’m here, Sir? To replace him?” The pain was unbearable, but he was a Starfleet officer. He had faced Klingons who would have made look this madman like a Orion slave girl.

Kirk shrugged. “Only as a last resort. You’re first of all here to help me bring him back.”

“I’m not sure I can do zhat, Sir.”

“We’ll see. Tell me, did the James Kirk in you reality ever get the chance to, you know, pull your pants down?”

“No, Sir.” This was joy. Full joy in Jim’s face again, and as much Pavel would have loved to quote Shakespeare again just for the moment, he just had to realize that he would most likely spend the rest of the hours to come with the most vile and treacherous Klingon. He would have known where he stood with him, at least.

“Wow. I get my ensign and to deflower him a _second_ time.” Kirk took off his uniform shirt and his boxershorts. He was naked, and Pavel was too.

“I wish my horse had the speed of your tongue,” Pavel just said. Kirk did not hit him this time. He pressed both the dangerous thumb and index finger on his throat and said, “You won’t end with a jade’s trick, Pavel. I'll make sure of...zhat."

 


	3. Chapter 3

“Sir.” Spock spoke to him on the bridge, but Kirk did not listen. He tried to ignore the Vulkan, but he was insistent while Kirk was watching how the Enterprise let destruction rain down on a small, distant planet.

“Sir,” he said again and then again.

“What?”

“May I speak?”

It was said that the first year of human enslavement killed every drop of humor out of the people of Vulkan, yet somehow, Kirk would have loved to have a short talk with his old man about that matter. Spock seemed to be a good counterexample, for now.

“Hm. You may.” Kirk pressed a button on his chair that made Spock cry out loud. His thumb seemed to be stuck on it, and while Spock's cries became louder and louder, the more it stayed on the button, until Kirk finally gave in. “What is it?”

Spock got up and was barely able to stand, but Kirk just waited for the Vulkan to speak.

“I had a look at the files we downloaded from the other Enterprise, Sir. Beside an extensive analysis of the ship, I also had a look into the files and personal logs of the Crew.”

“And?”

“It seems that Ensign Chekov is not like the Ensign we know. Or knew in that regard.”

“Yeah, he's a whiny little brat, I know. Give me a week more and he'll do anything I say.”

“I am sure, but I don't think he can. According to the files I had a look at, he may be a prodigy like our Chekov, but he does not even have a PhD, not even a thesis in the fields we require.”

“I think he said that. Difficult to tell when he has my cock in his throat.”

“He's still a genius, Sir.” Spock furrowed his brow. “Maybe we can still use that to our very advantage.”

 

Kirk would have loved to push the doors to his apartment aside, but the automatic mechanism denied him this possibility and he had to walk in rather slowly.

“Honey, I'm home.”

No reaction. He looked at his bed, chuckled. Two steps forward. “Did I give any permission to leave my bed?”

One step forward. “Any permission...at all?” He pushed the chair aside, pulled Chekov out from his hiding place and held him in the air with his hand on the thin fabric of his shirt.

“Did I?” He moved his hand up to Chekov's throat, but did not put too much pressure there.

Chekov didn't say anything, so Kirk had to shake him several times. Finally, he pressed Chekov's precious throat and raised his eyebrows.

“Did I?”

“No.”

“So why are you hiding behind the chair? The other one at least went under the bed, you stupid idiot.”

Kirk threw him on the bed. “I shouldn't let you allow you to lie there, but well... I am sort of a people person. I talked to you a lot lately when I couldn't look you in the eye, maybe I'll change that.” Kirk sat down on the bed and laid himself over Chekov's body. They shared a short kiss that entailed more obedience than Kirk had received a week ago.

“Who am I?”, he asked then, their lips being apart only an inch.

“You're a monster, Sir.”

Kirk kissed his throat and then moved up to kiss his ears. He remained close and whispered, “That's only _what_ I am. I am even more than that. Do you know the only reason you're still alive and not thrown out with the last load of garbage?”

“You still need me, Sir.”

“No,” Kirk said and meant it. His hand moved along Chekov's cheekbones and then his hair. Kirk kissed his ear again and whispered, “You are only alive because you look just like the one thing in life I held dear. Try to keep that in mind, will you?”


End file.
